What Used to Be
by Secrets Under My Sleeves
Summary: Eli's hardships through the years. Eventually Eclare ;
1. Worried Sick

"Jules! Julia where are you? Julia… I'm sorry."  
I am officially the biggest dirt bag in possibly the whole northern hemisphere. Huh. I wonder if they have a trophy. I mentally smirked. See? That just proves how much of a jerk I am. I just had the biggest fight with the possible love of my life and I'm smirking. Mentally, Eli, mentally you are smirking. I guess Julia does have a right to be pissed at me. I would be too. But, I had to tell her.

_(Flash back)  
Julia stayed at home today from school from a cold and it was killing me. I had to endure eight hours without my Jules. The whole day I was extremely jittery and irritable. That's what being apart from Julia did to me. It probably was unhealthy but it wasn't like I was going to lose her so l didn't really care. When it was 2:15 I decided that I couldn't possibly endure another forty-five minutes. I decided to skip the rest of the day and go back home to Jules. She had been staying with us since her step-mom turned abusive. She could never bear to tell her dad because he seemed so happy with her. That was Julia for you. She'd always run away from her problems. But, she also was extremely loyal and compassionate. All those qualities at one point had somewhat destroyed her. That's why she was living at my home. She just couldn't possibly tell him her step-mom was beating on her constantly. But, I loved her even more because of her flaws. If you can even call it love. I do know that I love Julia, but… I guess I don't know if I was IN love with her. I mean it's just that… I don't know. I really don't understand myself. I can get the most beautiful, wonderful, most caring girl in the world and not be IN love with her._

I was thinking all these thoughts on my way home. I decided to stop and get Julia some tea from the local coffee place. She had a pretty bad cold from our epic snowball fight [1]. On my way out of the coffee shop I tripped over a banana peel and ripped my skinny jeans right below my knee. And damn did it hurt [2]. After mumbling a few obscenities I got up and limped my way out of the coffee place to my car. I just got my car and it was so, so cool. It was an old truck. Actually, it was just like the one that girl drives in that book. You know the one about a vampire. I think it was called like Sunset or something [3]. 

_The rest of my half hour drive home was uneventful. When I got home I literally jumped out my truck and ran to the door. I was so happy to be home again. School alone was bad. School without Julia was hell. I unlocked the door and ran up to my room. I opened the door and there she was surfing the internet. "Hey Julia!" I said loudly. She jumped probably a good foot in the air. "Oh… uh, heyyy Eli…" she replied extremely nervously. I noticed that she also clicked out of the internet extremely fast. Hmmm… I'll have to look into that. "I wasn't expecting you to be home so early from school bunny pie[4]." She said a little bit less nervously, but I noticed how she wouldn't look me in the eyes. I was starting to get a little nervous myself. I mean what could possibly be wrong? Oh my god. She was going to break up with me. Or even worse she was pregnant. That would explain it. Oh my god. Oh my god! OH MY FRIGGIN' GOD! I can't be a dad! I'm only 15! I shouldn't even be driving by myself! Oh my god. "Julia…" I started in a shaky voice "if something BIG was happening would you tell me?" I saw her eyes widen with realization that she knew I knew. She let out a shaky laugh. Sort of like a I don't know what you are talking about laugh but I really do and I'm just laughing to fill the awkward silence and give me some time to think about how I can cover this in a lie kind of laugh. _

"_Well…" she said "we knew each other since we were like 7 right? And you and me we are special. We are different from everyone else right? And we have been dating since we were in the seventh grade right? Look at us now we are sophomores! That's three years! Three years! And we both love each other so much and we are LIVING TOGETHER for Heaven's sake and I mean-" "Julia" I cut her off "get to the point." "Eli" - she took a big breath- "I think it is time that you propose to me."_

_For a second I was relieved that she wasn't pregnant. Then totally mortification took over._

1: I have a cold from the most EPIC snowball fight. EVER.

2: Don't laugh! I did it before and it hurt like hell.

3: SHOUT OUT TO TWILIGHT YO!

4: I love it when people call people bunny pie. It's actually kind of gross but it sounds sweet. Um, yeah.


	2. The Truth

"_Um…Eli? You can say something now…" I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. In my head I was thinking a million things, mostly having to do with getting the hell away from here. Away from her. It was like my mind was completely functional but it just didn't match up with my body. Maybe I was going into shock…_

Most people, if they were in my shoes, would marry Julia in a heartbeat.  
I knew how special she was and sometimes, I felt as if I didn't treat her good enough but…  
I never, ever admitted this but deep, deep, deep down I knew Julia wasn't The One.

_I mean, GOD, all Julia ever really wanted in life was to get married and have kids. I actually wanted to do SOMETHING with my life. And I mean, gosh, I'm FIFTEEN! I like to sit around and read comics and watch Family Guy! I don't want a wife (or a baby at that!)! _

_When I finally regained my motor skills all I could say was "What the-" before Julia cut me off.  
"Eli. I mean think about it, we ARE already living together. And, we don't have to get married now. Maybe when we are like, 19? I mean come on, we are SOUL MATES. You get me so much. No one knows as much about me as you do! Let's just take it to the next step." _

_Her whole rant left me kind of speechless. Julia has always been a very quiet and awkward girl. Never popular with the cool kids. I bet they didn't even know she existed. So when she said all that it was so unlike Julia, the Julia I know. As she went deeper and deeper into her little rant I started to tune her out. I was wondering about how I could possibly find a way out of this._

_"ELI? Are you even listening to me? ELIJAH!" she was waving her hand in front of my face to get me out of my trance. Ugh. I really, really hate it when she calls me that. It makes me even more upset when she does say it. "All you can do is just stand there after I just poured my heart and soul out to you? You are completely unbelievable! Do you even hear me? Elijah!" _

_"Julia…" I started to say calmly "I'm not ready for that kind of relationship yet. Jesus, Jules, I'm fifteen! Don't you want to go to parties, or clubs, or even college? Don't you want to do something with your life? I don't want to drag you down, because deep, deep down… I know we aren't meant to be."_

_I truly felt awful as I saw Julia drop down to the floor and hug her knees. Don't get me wrong I loved Julia. I was in love with her. Most of the time. And wasn't love supposed to be unconditional? And recently, every time I was even with Julia, I felt like I wasn't there. I mean physically, I was obviously, but mentally, I was somewhere else. I felt myself drift further and further away from her. But being without her made me anxious. It's like I couldn't win. _

_When I told my mom about this (I know what you are thinking but I can tell her anything) she said that she had absolutely no advice for me and maybe I should go see a counselor. I went down to comfort Julia but she pushed me away. "I'm done with your mind games, Eli." With that she ran out of the door. _

When I snapped back to reality I realized that I probably acted just like anyone else would have. And, I did try to talk to her. She was just too stubborn to listen. I decided that I probably should go out and look for her. It was late and cold. Also, her house was like five miles away. Not that far but, she could be walking for a good half an hour. I hopped into my truck and drove off trying to find the girl I love.

* * *

A.N Yeah. That was way too short, but I felt if I kept the chapter going it would drag on. Plus the ending sounded dramatic. LOL. But yeah... Um, I'd love any type of feedback (except flames, I'm allergic to them) and so... yeah. Byers!


	3. Chapter 3

I'm going to make a new account, start fresh, see where I go with it. All my stories will be done with, and will never be picked up again. Sorry for those people who did like them, but I do have legit reasons for this. Sorry for being such a dick, PM me if you would like to find out my new account :)


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